Sometimes I wonder why I'm here in Europe...why God allowed me to get this job. Is it to build my resume? To open doors for me in the future? Is it to get Ben's business off the ground, giving him a full summer to work solely on his websites? Is it to stretch me, to get me out of my comfort zone? To strengthen our marriage? Is it simply a gift for us to be able to see Europe in a way we would probably never have gotten to see?
I also think about the things I miss at home...about my family and friends, about the things I did on a daily basis. Will I do things differently when I get back in September? Will I have better spending habits? Eating habits? Will I watch less tv at home since I never watch it here? Will I appreciate the things I love at home even more since now I am missing them so much?
Even with all those questions, being in Europe has made many things seem more sure to me than ever. Ben is the most amazing husband, and I feel at home with him wherever we go. We're having so much fun together and so much more time together than we did in Louisville. In our traveling, I have been once again reminded that God is the most talented Artist, that He has made the oceans and the mountains and His creation is breathtaking. I am also reminded of the verse in 1 Corinthians 2 that tells us, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him". To think, all this beautiful creation, and yet what He is preparing for us is inconceivable! Finally, I've been assured how important it is to have a Savior in Christ. My grandmother back in Louisville has been suffering with cancer and is probably in her final days on this earth. We have all been praying for healing for her, but sometimes God chooses His healing to be the perfect kind, by taking His child home to be with Him in heaven. It's hard being this far away instead of near to my family, near to my grandma, near to my mom as she tries to cope with taking care of her mother. As I said goodbye to my grandma before I left for Germany, she cried as she hugged me. We both felt then that it could be our last goodbye, but coming to grips with that now still just seems unreal. So what is the hope I still have? I will see her again in heaven. My grandma is a Christian, a follower of Christ...she raised her family to do the same, and so by God's grace I was raised to do the same. There is so much we can't be sure of in this world...so much disappointment...cancer and sickness and so much to destroy our bodies...we feel lonely, get depressed...but the worst thing we do is think we can find our own way, turn our backs on God, go down a path that only leads to destruction. Why would we ever do such a thing, when He sent His son to die for us just so we could be with Him forever? Why would we stop going to church, stop worshipping God in our daily lives, stop praying to the only One who can actually answer our prayers and give us a peace that passes understanding? How can we not fall to our knees in repentance and be eternally grateful that God offers all of His amazing promises and blessings and joy and contentment and hope if we simply believe in His son and the gift of His grace and forgiveness that He gives to all who would simply ask for it?
Being away from my "normal" life is an amazing opportunity, one that few actually get...and I see now what a blessing it truly is. I believe the answer to all of those questions I first asked about why I am here and what life will be like back at home could be "yes". God may have me here to stretch me, to bless me and Ben's careers, to help us appreciate what we have at home, to change some habits and strengthen others. So I will make the most of my opportunity here, learn what I can, take the good habits back home with me, and appreciate my life in Louisville even more than when I left. I can never know for sure why God has led my path in this direction, but I can continue trusting in Him that He always has a plan for me. What I do know without a doubt is this: We are all lost without a Savior; we would have nothing to hope for if this life was all there was. But my hope is in Christ, and I know that no matter what happens on this earth, wherever I end up, my final home will be with Christ in heaven...and that is what makes this life worth living!!
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